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Swingers South Africa

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What is swinging? | Swingers South Africa Members Photo

July 12th, 2011

Swinging can be described as a social and sexual intercourse for fun, with someone who is not your partner, but you enjoy the complete permission and consent of the other person, thus acting as swingers. It is also called as “lifestyle”.
The activity gained more wakefulness in 1960’s due to the research and development of advanced contraceptives. People became very progressive with broad outlook. Swinging should not be confused with swapping as swinging involves both, couples and single males and females. Broadmindedness in adults attracted the ideas of enjoying sex and materialising fantasies with different partners, instead of the droning monogamous relationship.
Swinging is basically a trendy recreational activity for broad minded adults. The most common manner is an adult male & female couple meeting other couples for sex and sometimes involving in close relationships also.  Swinging can be off-premises or on-premises. Couples may invite others to their home for swinging or there can be some arrangement in a place outside for swinging.
Swinging is practiced in various clubs, parties, orgies and gangs etc. The encouraging fact of a swinger lies in being honest and open with the partner rather than cheating. So, the swinging community involves all like minded single or couples. Swinging is a fun but there are some risks attached to it. People get engaged in it for short-lived enjoyment but sometimes it becomes complicated when regular sex with a swinger leads to emotional involvement in a relationship. You could also run the risk of loosing a friend or a partner who may not agree with your idea of swinging. The offer can upset or offend the other person sometimes who has a different mindset. There is various dreaded disease which can be a part of this activity of having different sex partners. So, a swinger needs to be extra cautious and try to have healthy and safer sex.

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An introduction to wife swapping | Swingers South Africa Members Photo

July 12th, 2011

Wife-swapping is a recreation social and sexual intercourse between consulting adults.  Swapping involves swingers commonly consisting of male and female couples meeting with other male-female couples for sex and familiarity.

In this kind of activity couples express their sexual desires and fantasies, being courageous about it. Couples favour Swapping by stating their view point that swapping is a comfortable and compromising position that allow them to enjoy sex with different individuals to satisfy their inner, hidden desires and playing the role of husband and wife at the same time. They are able to fulfill their sexual longing and craving with whosoever they fancy instead of having dull sex with same partner everyday.

 

From the historical evidences from the museums and various libraries, it is proven that wife- swapping probably began during the World War II (1941-1944), amongst the defense personals, especially, air force pilots. Their fatality rate was extremely high. So, they used to organise parties before the military actions and exchange wives of their colleagues in those parties to make sure that if anything happens to them then the families will be taken care of including the sexual needs of their wives. So, this is how it started and spread from them to other groups and parts of the country.

 

There were also “Key clubs” where husbands used to toss the keys of their houses in a room where it was supposed to be drawn at random by their wives. The owner of the selected key used to be the sexual partner for the evening.

It was in 1950’s that media reported these activities in the United States of America and named it Wife Swapping. During that time the leading way to meet other wife swappers was through personal advertisements. These publications used to illustrate nude and revealing photos of couples involved in swapping.

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Does swinging improve relationships? | Swingers South Africa Members Photo

July 12th, 2011

Swingers are happier in their relationships than those who are not. I know it may seem bloat, but the statement you just read is indeed a fact. A scientific research was conducted using the help of internet questionnaires and the results of that research come to everybody’s surprise. 90% of swingers with bad relationship said that they improve their bond and overall relationship pleasures after swinging. Although the research can be biased, especially because internet questionnaires can be quite biased sometimes, but there are couples who live a better marriage after swinging.

In order to be able to improve their relationships with their real spouse, swingers must know several rules and points. The first is to be completely open about the swinging itself. If you are having sex with someone other than your spouse without them knowing, you are simply cheating and not swinging. Your partner also need to accept the idea of swinging and not feel threatened or rejects the idea altogether. They need to enjoy the process as well for the benefits to be mutual, and without this swinging will only dooms a marriage or a relationship.

Another important factor is how strong your emotional bonds and commitments to your spouse are. Swinging is not just about having sex with other people, it is about allowing both parties to have fun. It is only natural than one party desires swinging more than the other, but that doesn’t mean the hold-out party not being able to enjoy the process is acceptable. You need to make sure both parties have fun for it to actually improve your marriages instead of causing grudges and ruining the relationship.

So does swinging improve relationships? I think it is safe to say that, with proper approach, it can very much improve relationships and marriages.

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The Myth of Monogamy | Swingers South Africa Members Photo

July 12th, 2011

The Monogamy Myth is the belief that monogamy is the norm in our society and that it is supported by society as a whole. The effect of believing that most marriages or committed relationships are monogamous is that if an affair happens, it’s seen strictly as a personal failure of the people involved. This can lead to personal blame, personal shame, wounded pride, and almost universal feelings of devastation.
Where did monogamy come from?
Regulations of unions between men and women first became important when private property became important to a society as a consequence of the growth of cities; at that point, the males wanted succession to be concretized and regulated. This idea of private property also coincided with the onset of monogamy. Stricter monogamy and private property ownership worked together since the inheritance of the property was decidedly the children of the owner. Therefore, the father took the most logical means at his disposal to guarantee that his property was inherited by his genetic offspring.
Is Monogamy ‘Natural’?
We, as citizens of a monogamous culture, are usually taught that monogamy is “natural” and that all other forms of sexual relations are wrong. But the evidence is clear that humans are capable of maintaining a variety of different mating patterns. It would seem, from this, that no particular pattern is innate to our species. In light of the fact that there are other societies that accept polyandry or polygyny as the norm, one can only conclude that monogamy, and the values of sexuality it implies, is a socialized institution. There is no particular marriage structure that is innate to the human species.
The Reality of Monogamy in Our Society
The reality is that monogamy is not the norm in our society, not by today’s standards, anyway. Conservative estimates are that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women who consider themselves “monogamous” will have an extramarital affair. These figures are even more significant when we consider the total number of marriages involved, since it’s unlikely that all the men and women having affairs happen to be married to each other. If even half of the women having affairs (or 20 percent) are married to men not included in the 60 percent having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages. With this many marriages affected, it’s unreasonable to think affairs are due only to the failures and shortcomings of individual husbands or wives.
According to the Monogamy Myth, society as a whole is supportive of monogamy and of people’s efforts to remain monogamous, leading people to expect to have a monogamous marriage. This belief reinforces the idea of personal failure for those people who want to live up to the ideal of monogamy but fail to achieve it.
In reality, while society gives lip service to monogamy, there are significant societal factors that actually support and encourage affairs. Statistics and our own experiences indicate that it is the norm in our society for people to have more than one sexual / loving relationship at a time at various points in their lives. This may be in the form of extramarital affairs, serial monogamy with clandestine overlap, or dating more than one in a secretive way. In all of these scenarios, it is society’s message that it is less offensive to lie to our partners than to admit that we have love for more than one. The deception, when revealed, usually ends one or more relationships.
We need to reject the Monogamy Myth to help relieve the sense of shame and inadequacy felt by those who have attempted to achieve our society’s standard of monogamy and have failed. Since they keep their shame and anger hidden, they seldom get enough perspective to completely recover from these feelings, regardless of whether they stay married or get a divorce. This is best accomplished by dealing with reality, not holding on to a myth.
So, What Is Reality?
People are beginning to question the long standing myth of monogamy. Within American society, there exists relationships which pose an alternative to this traditional romantic ideal. What happens when we choose to let go of the Puritanical package we are handed as our American birthright, start telling the truth to the people closest to us and start trusting our hearts with the possibility of more love? Is the human species innately monogamous? Biologist Richard Alexander of the Human Behavior and Evolution Society stated: “Lifelong monogamous devotion is just not natural — not for women even, and emphatically not for men.”

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Overcoming first time swinger nerves | Swingers South Africa Members Photo

July 11th, 2011

First time nerves or stage fright is not uncommon in swinging and it’s not just a problem for men, it can easily affect women as well, it’s just not so obvious when it does.

You can imagine the tyupical scenario where a man has been imagining playing with a new partner for ages, perhaps even for months, and suddenly the situation is upon them and they find they can’t…

The important thing to remember if you find yourself in this situation is that it is natural and it is not anyone’s fault.

What causes “stage fright” in swinging?

It is normally becuse we are not comfortable with out environment for some reason. In a typical dating scenario sex doesn’t normally happen until you have had chance to get to know each other and become more comfortable with each other to a degree, however long this takes. And when you start swinging it is normally when you have been with your partner for some time and grown to know them.

This is not the situation in swinging, you will often find yourself with someone who you don’t really know very well, if at all, which can feel intimidating and cause nervousness for many people. Not everyone feels comfortable having sex with a relative stranger, someone that you may have only met for an hour or so before..

What can you do?

The solution is the same as always, communicate. Take a time out and get to know the person a bit better and you will normally find that the nerves start to fade away fairly rapidly and you’ll be ready to continue where you left off, and becuase you’vre spent the extra time getting to know the person a bit better the situation will often end up being even more enjoyable than you were expecting.

You should also remember that it is fgairly likely that the person/people you are with have also had the same feelings of nervousness at some time, so they will understand you.

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How to identify other swingers | Swingers South Africa Members Photo

July 11th, 2011

If you think that you may be in the presence of a swinger, then you will need to make sure that you know the different things that you can do to figure it out. A lot of people that are around other swingers typically don’t even know that they are. Many swingers will end up leading double lives because they do not want certain people knowing that they swing. This means that they are very good at pretending that they are not swingers at all.

Talk About It

If you happen to be having a conversation with people that you suspect are swingers, then you should casually bring up the subject. You will find that whenever you mention swinging if the people are actually swingers they will usually have a strong reaction to the subject being brought up. If they do not want to be found out, then they will often begin to fidget and act uncomfortable. Others may end up opening up and wanting to discuss it with you further. If you find the person getting uncomfortable, then drop the subject, chances are they are not going to tell you if they are.

Couples

If you happen to be talking to a couple that you suspect swings then pay attention to how they react to other couples. See if they both happen to check out people in the same way that a single person would. See if they approach or how they approach other couples. Couples that are swingers will usually want to swing with other couples.

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Great tips for couples new to swinging | Swingers South Africa Members Photo

July 11th, 2011

Being new to swinging can be overwhelming. There are so many rules to remember, and it can make anyone nervous to have to approach others that they don’t already know for sex. There are some things that can help make the transition. Here are a couple great tips for any new couple.

Find Out What it’s About

Before you jump in to a swinger’s event it’s a good idea to spend some time finding out what you can expect. Signing up for a forum will allow you to interact with other swingers and read about their experiences. You can also go to a few events before you decide to participate. Swingers are open to beginners since all swingers were first timers at some point. A lot of clubs will even allow new swingers to tour the facilities or attend an event for free just to see what it is and isn’t.

Set Rules

After you’ve explored the forums and toured a club or party, you can sit down and come up with a set of rules. These rules shouldn’t cover every single contingency, but it should be enough to keep jealousy at bay. The rules are golden and must be adhered to at all times. If you ever want to bend or break a rule, you need to talk with your partner about this before the fact to avoid issues later. All couples will have different rules. Those who only want to watch or be watched may have rules about not touching or being touched by others. Some will have rules regarding the acceptable types of sex that can occur with other couples. As you go on, the rules can evolve.

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